Boys Can't Have Babies
by CrAcKeRs oN CrAcK
Summary: In which Ganondorf and Nabooru find out that boys and girls are really different.


The spring in the deepest bowels of the Gerudo Fortress was certainly a treat. A pipe, hardy and as old as the Fortress itself, lead from the river in the canyon to this inner area pumping fresh water into a stone pool. It was isolated from the harsh heat of the desert sun, thus ensuring the pool was always refreshingly cool.

"Yeeeeessssss…..ditching lessons for this was totally worth it!"

A young Gerudo girl, no older than eight, grinned gleefully as she stood at the edge of the pool alone. Normally, the Gerudo would bathe together since the use of so much water for one person was considered wasteful. It was difficult to relax and enjoy the cool water with fifty other people after a hard day of training and doing chores. During the late morning, however, everyone was busy with their daily activities leaving the pool free of use. Nabooru knew she would be in deep trouble when she returned, but she had this huge pool of untouched water to herself in exchange. She got into messes often enough anyways, so one more time wasn't a big deal. The little girl quickly removed her clothes, rubbing her hands together ecstatically before diving in. She quickly resurfaced, her long red hair stuck to her face as she spat out some water that had gotten into her mouth.

"This was way more than totally worth it," she whispered in awe as she looked at all the space available just for her. "This was like….super duper mega worth it!"

"Nabooru?" a young voice rang out throughout the chamber.

It had not even been ten minutes, and she had already been found. Huffing in frustration, she stuck her head out of the water. Her eyes narrowed in frustration as she realized she had been disturbed by the most annoying person in the entire fortress: the Gerudo prince and, more importantly, her greatest rival.

"Ugggghhhh Ganondorf, aren't you supposed to be following the rules and be in class or something," she groaned in frustration as she stood up, her hands on hips.

The Gerudo prince, around the same age as Nabooru, narrowed his eyes in response as he crossed his arms over his chest. "No, this is my time to bathe missus I-break-every-rule-I-can-break."

The young girl scoffed as she stuck out her tongue, "Liar, no one gets to use the pool at this time. You're just lying because you're breaking the rules, and you don't wanna admit it." Ganondorf stuck his tongue out as far as he could in response.

"That's what you think. I get to use the pool here every day by myself because I'm a boy. You can even ask Elder Layla and she'll tell you."

Nabooru felt her jaw drop as she heard what the boy was telling her. "You get the pool to yourself every day? Like every single day?" She shook her head as she angrily crossed her arms. "That's just not fair!"

A smug look appeared on the Gerudo boy's face as he said haughtily, "Well I'm the Gerudo prince, so I get privileges."

A pout crossing her face, she rose out of the pool and began to walk towards him, "So what? What makes being a boy so special anyways? You're not this huge cow that needs all this water to yourself." An annoyed expression quickly replaced her anger as she saw that the Gerudo boy had heard none of what she said, his eyes fixated on the area between her legs.

"Heeeeeey don't you know it's rude to stare," she said in irritation as she stomped over to him. Ganondorf, however, continued to stare, his eyes wide in disbelief.

"Hellllooooooo, didn't you hear me or do you have sand stuck in your ears?" She huffed in frustration as she stood in front of him. The Gerudo boy suddenly seemed to snap out of his trance, his hand rising up just enough to point at the area between her legs.

"Where's your tail?" he asked innocently, forgetting the argument they had been having just a second earlier.

Nabooru frowned in response as she placed one hand on her hip, "Ok, I get I called you a cow and all, but that's seriously the worst comeback ever." Ganondorf glared at her, his arms at his sides as he clenched his small fists.

"I'm serious Nabs, where's your tail?" he insisted again. This time, the Gerudo girl crossed her arms, her frown deepening as she stared at him with an incredulous look.

"Are you kidding me Gan? You're still gonna hang on to this joke? I obviously don't have a tail doofus. Only _animals_ have tails."

A look of confusion crossed the young boy's face as he continued to look between her legs and his own. Nabooru scowled as Ganondorf persisted to act in a strange manner, his eyes wide as he was trying to sort out something in his mind. Finally, Nabooru couldn't take it anymore.

"What is your problem!? Are you just gonna act weird all day?" she finally burst out. Snapping out of his daze, the Gerudo boy glared at her, a deep frown on his face from being disturbed.

"Whatever, you're probably just a freak of nature anyways because I have a tail and you don't. You always act so crazy so it's probably just a side effect." With that, he walked past her as he began to remove his clothes to bathe. Now, it was Nabooru's turn to look at him in shock before she burst into laughter.

"Wow Ganon, you're totally crazy! This joke is just stupid, but I laughed anyways." She looked at him as he stopped, and saw that he was almost shaking in irritation. He turned around swiftly glaring daggers in her direction.

"I'm NOT lying, SEE!" With that, he pulled his own pants down, fuming as he did so. This time, Nabooru was the one who caught herself staring incredulously at the "tail" that Ganondorf had between his legs. Her mouth was agape, opening and shutting in disbelief.

"Woooow, you weren't lying….you DO have a tail," she said, still not quite believing what she was seeing. The Gerudo prince crossed his arms, a smug look on his face.

"Seeeee, I told you so." he said in a matter-of-fact voice. He nearly jumped when Nabooru came closer to inspect the area between his legs, her eyes curiously going over every little detail. It was something completely foreign to her, after all.

Nabs," Ganondorf started as he began to slowly back away, "stop that. You're creeping me out."

"Where do you pee from?" Nabooru asked suddenly, her voice betraying her awe and curiosity. If Ganondorf had felt concerned about her behaviour before, he now felt very uncomfortable with her probing.

"Well…ummm…." He felt heat rising in his cheeks as a blush appeared on them. He then felt a spike of anger rising from his embarrassment. He wouldn't give Nabooru any advantage over him. The Gerudo boy chose to glare at her, clenching his teeth.

"Ummm…well that's dumb! How could you not know where pee comes from!" he said hurriedly, trying to hide his discomfort. Nabooru, however, was not easily persuaded. She put her hand to her chin as she thought deeply over the answer that the annoying boy refused to give her.

"Well I bet you pee from you tail, huh? I always knew you were weird," the Gerudo girl said as she shook her head. "How are you gonna have babies when you get older? Babies don't come from tails."

Ganondorf found himself growing angrier with Nabooru's assumptions. All Gerudo knew that having children and helping their numbers grow was a great blessing. There was not a day where the girls did not talk about when they would be able to go out to mate and come home with a baby in their belly. The fact that the Gerudo girl in front of him cast any doubt on his ability to do the same both embarrassed and infuriated him. Frankly, he felt deeply insulted.

"What do you know about babies!? I bet you're the one who can't have babies and you're just trying to make me feel bad!" he cried out, fighting back the tears of frustration that were gathering at the corner of his eyes. Frowning, Nabooru stood up as she placed her hands on her hips.

"It's true! I saw when Elder Sister had her baby and she doesn't have a tail. She has what I have, and that's where the baby came out from!" the Gerudo girl declared. Ganondorf's eyes widened as he pointed an accusatory finger at her.

"Heeeeey, kids aren't allowed to go see babies being born!" he accused as he glared at her. Nabooru, on the other hand, mentally face palmed. She wasn't supposed to tell anyone she had snuck off to see her older sister Aveil give birth to her daughter. She was just really curious, and she knew she would be in very deep trouble if anyone found out she had been there. She had to do something before Ganondorf realized that he could potentially blackmail her later.

"I know what we'll do," Nabooru suggested. "We'll go ask Elder Sister Aveil who's right. She's a big adult now, so she's smart right?" The Gerudo prince eyed her sceptically, his arms crossed over his chest. It was supposed to be his bath time, but now he was curious. Nabooru could be lying to him; it wasn't the first time she had tricked him. Aveil was an elder sister and adult though, so she wouldn't lie to him.

"Fine, we'll go ask Aveil," Ganondorf conceded as he begun to put on his pants again. Nabooru sighed in relief, hoping that the boy had forgotten her little slip up as she went and put on her own clothes. Once they were dressed, she grabbed the Gerudo prince's hand as she led the way to her sister's home. A mischievous grin crossed the boy's face in the meantime.

"By the way, I didn't forget that you broke a huge rule Nabs," he said gleefully as they emerged from the Fortress. Nabooru mentally slapped herself; he was going to hold this over her for a very long time.

* * *

Aveil was in her one room hut busy with her little daughter when Nabooru burst in quite unceremoniously with the Gerudo prince in tow. The young Gerudo woman rolled her eyes as she bounced her child in her lap. Her youngest sister could be quite overwhelming at times.

"So, skipping class again aren't you?" Aveil sighed, "I think the only thing left to do with you is to threaten you with death." Her eyes then fell on the Gerudo prince, "And then of course, you drag the poor prince into your misadventures." Ganondorf found himself staring at the ground sheepishly while Nabooru crossed her arms in annoyance.

"Alright so I am skipping class again," she huffed, "but this time it's for a really good reason!" Aveil's eyebrow raised in curiosity as a playful smirk crossed her painted lips.

"You have a proper reason?" She chuckled, causing the baby in her lap to coo, "Now that's a new one."

Nabooru just glared at her sister for not taking her seriously. Well, she would take her seriously now.

"How come he has a tail between his legs?" Nabooru demanded pointing towards the Gerudo boy. Ganondorf, in turn, looked at Aveil, his eyes betraying his curiosity in wanting to know what she had to say on the matter.

The elder sister felt her jaw drop as her child began to babble. "How do you know he-" she narrowed her eyes as she realized what her younger sister had been up to. "You were skipping class to use the underground spring, weren't you?"

The young Gerudo girl's eyes grew wide as she had been caught red-handed while Ganondorf began to laugh. She punched the Gerudo boy in the arm for ruining any chance of her fixing her slip up. The Gerudo prince scowled in response as he rubbed his sore arm. "How did you know?" she grumbled in defeat. Aveil sighed heavily as she shook her head.

"I know because it's Ganondorf's bath time, and that is probably how you even saw his-" she paused as she snorted in amusement, " 'tail'." Ganondorf frowned as he watched Aveil trying to hold her laughter in.

"It's not funny! And Nabooru said I can't have babies either because babies don't come from tails!" he exclaimed angrily. Nabooru turned towards him, a scowl on her face as she narrowed her eyes.

"Tell him Aveil! I bet he can't even have a baby!" she said smugly. Both children turned to the elder sister, their eyes boring into her, telling her to prove one of them right so they could rub it in the face of the other that was wrong. The elder sister, however, felt her jaw drop for a moment. Out of all things she had expected from these two (and she anticipated many things since they were always prone to arguing), Aveil did not expect childbirth would be one of them. How did these kids come up with such random topics anyways? More importantly, how was she going to explain the process of having babies to these two stubborn children? She would have gladly brushed them off if she could, but she knew they were the type to nag her until she told them what they wanted to hear.

"Well…uh…" Aveil thought as she scratched the back of her head, "Why don't you two sit down, and I'll try to explain it…"

A long awkward time later, the elder sister looked towards the two children, seated with their legs crossed on the floor, as they stared at her in shock. Her own little one had fallen asleep in her lap a while ago, a content little smile on her chubby face. The elder sister sighed as she saw that Ganondorf was not exactly pleased with what he had heard.

"So I can't have a baby in my belly…because I give them away?" he asked again, as if to make sure he had heard correctly. The elder sister gulped as she saw the sadness that was creeping up onto his young face, already imagining how awkward it was going to sound if she had to explain that she had upset the prince over his lack of the ability to bear a child.

"Well….no but you give babies to the girls! That's a very big blessing Ganondorf. It's why we think boys are so special," she told him reassuringly. The Gerudo prince, however, was very unhappy.

"That's not true! No one ever said that giving babies away was a blessing!" he exclaimed as tears began to gather in his eyes. Nabooru, a smug look on her face, decided that she would put the last nail in the coffin.

"Seeeeee, I told you so," she said in a bossy, victorious tone. Aveil smacked Nabooru's arm as the statement finally did the little boy in. He began to cry in earnest, hiccuping as the tears flowed freely down his cheeks.

"I don't wanna be a boy!" he cried as he used his arm to wipe his nose and eyes. The commotion caused the baby in Aveil's lap to wake up. The child, cranky from suddenly being disturbed, joined Ganondorf as she began to wail along with him. Nabooru did not help, being the stubborn and competitive girl that she was, as she began to explain how she was always right and that Ganondorf was just a sore loser.

Aveil closed her eyes in exasperation; this was going to be a very, very long day.

* * *

Ganondorf, now king of the Gerudo, lounged on his bed, the moonlight filtering into his window at quite the perfect angle as it provided just the right amount of light for the page that he was currently reading. His Second, Nabooru, opted to lean against the wall, her arms folded as her golden eyes stared at the moon and stars in the pitch black sky. It was normal for them to spend time in each others' company in relative silence, and none felt all that awkward for it.

"So," Nabooru decided to break the silence, "Kira's birth went very well today, I heard." The Gerudo King looked up from his page, his eyes falling on the silhouette of his Second leaning against the wall as her attention was still focused on the view outside his window.

"I did not expect any less," he answered as he turned the page, "she is amongst the most powerful and hardy warriors we have in our ranks. I have no doubt her daughter will be the same." As he turned his attention back to the book he had been reading, he heard Nabooru snort, before bursting into laughter right out of the blue. He raised an eyebrow in consternation as he inquired, "What's so funny?"

"Remember-" she began before she doubled over in laughter, clutching her sides. Ganondorf narrowed his eyes as he shut his book, opting to sit up as he glared at her. Despite being his Second and the most disciplined, skilled warrior amongst the Gerudo after himself, she did have a habit of being annoying. It was definitely a trait she had retained since her childhood.

"Remember what?" he said, hands resting on his knees as he awaited an answer. Nabooru straightened herself out, wiping tears from her eyes as she chuckled. "Remember when you literally cried when you found out you couldn't get pregnant?" At this, she burst into laughter once more.

Ganondorf narrowed his eyes as he crossed his arms, "I was eight, Nabs. Besides, it's not like there were other males around for me to question if I was any different." He frowned as Nabooru laughed even harder in response.

"Yeah, like having a 'tail' for example," she snorted as she continued to amuse herself at the King's expense. She was nearly knocked off her feet as a pillow smacked her right in the face. She turned her head to see Ganondorf, a smirk on his face as he held another pillow in his hand.

"Let's talk about the little girl who broke every damn rule in the book," he suggested as his grin widened. "That little stunt with ditching class to intrude on my bathing time got you stuck with dishes duty for an entire month, if I recall correctly. Oh, and what about sneaking off to watch your sister-" He ducked as the pillow he had thrown earlier sailed over his head.

"Ha, you missed!" he declared victoriously. Ganondorf yelped in surprise as he was tackled, a pillow being smothered in his face as he flailed on his mattress.

"Distraction tactic," Nabooru claimed matter-of-factly as she sat on his chest, holding the pillow to his face. She proceeded to try and tickle him, his hand trying to catch hers as he attempted to avoid the terrible fate of laughing into oblivion.

This was going to be a very, very long night.


End file.
